Sunday, July 29, 2012

Schrodinger's Break TIme

So, today was my last day working for the Infernal Wal-Mart. To celebrate, I thought I'd share with you all something that occurred to me one day while I was refilling the milk doors.

I have a habit, no matter which job I'm at, of waiting to look at the clock/my watch/whatever time piece is available. I like wondering what time it is, and then delaying what time I actually check. Normally, I am wondering if it is, or is nearly, break time or time to leave. Why do I do this?

To answer this, I am going to tell you about Schrodinger's Cat. According to the Wikipedia article I linked to in the previous sentence, Erwin Schrodinger, an Austrian Physicist, created the thought experiment now known as Schrodinger's Cat. The experiment deals with an aspect of Quantum physics, and posits that, if one were to put a cat in a box with a bottle of poison, and set the bottle of poison to be broken if a Geiger counter was set of by a radioactive particle that may or may not exist, then the cat inside is both dead and alive at the same time for as long as the box remains unopened. My best friend LawGambit like to refer to this clip from The Big Bang Theory as the best explanation of Schrodinger's Cat he's ever seen/heard. Partly because he's a Sheldon fan-boy. Partly because it really is one of the best explanations of Schrodinger's Cat.

So, back to our original topic. Why do I wait to check the time? Well, the cat is really only part of it. The other part works off the principle of delayed gratification. Delayed gratification makes everything better. Yes, I realize that sounds incredibly dirty, which is not helped at all by the fact that the principle works as well for sex as it does anything else it can be applied to. No, I do not know how to make it sound less dirty. Especially since the best non-anecdotal example I can come up with is from the show Ally McBeal, when Miss McBeal teaches one of the other ladies how to properly enjoy her coffee. Using the principle of delayed gratification, they heighten the experience to a near orgasmic level. I would imagine that they exaggerated the effects of delayed gratification a bit, unless you happen to *really* like coffee, but the principle is sound. For those of you who don't remember, or have never seen it, here is a poor quality recording of the scene I'm referring to. Sorry I couldn't find a better one.

So, yeah. That's sort of how it works. The Schrodinger's Cat principle of being both break time and not break time at the same time is in effect until I finally look at my watch/phone/the clock. Using delayed gratification, when I finally check the time, I feel a greater excitement, or a greater disappointment if it's not as late as I thought, than I would have if I had checked it immediately. Using both of these principle makes it fun to not check the time immediately.

And that, friends, is a look behind the scenes of how my mind works. I never said it made sense. Only that is works.