Saturday, February 11, 2012

And Darkness Falls, Until a New Dawn Rises

Does anyone else think zip ties look like someone trying to give themselves head? Or is that just me?

Wow. I totally didn't intend on going dark that long. Of course, it didn't help any that I thought I had posted since my Escapism post, and apparently I haven't. I have not been idle during this time, however! A lot of things have been happening. For one, I got a new job. And a new home. Well, the home isn't mine, actually. I moved in with some friends that lived nearby where I work, now. I hung in my retail hat to work on the electrical components of industrial band saws. <sarcasm>I know, right? Sounds like a dream job for someone like me.</sarcasm> Believe it or not, it's actually kind of fun. Plus, there will eventually be opportunities for me to get into a programming or tech position within the company. This company like people who move around within it, and I intend to do just that. While the concept of industrial band saws doesn't sound all that interesting, the work that goes into it is. I've always wanted to learn more about the hardware side of things, and now I'm getting to. The wiring I'm doing now is very much like physical programming. The only real issue I have with it at this point is that I don't know what it all does, or what it's for. It's like being handed a sheet of paper with lines of code on it, told approximately where they're supposed to go in the program, then told to type them into the computer as they appear on the paper, with maybe some minor changes depending on what is needed, but never understanding what the lines of code actually do. Hell of a way to write a program. However, that's basically what I'm doing. Just with wires instead of code. The kicker is, from what little I can tell, it's a fairly simple program. Well, at least each Method or Subroutine is fairly simple. It's just that it's all written in a language I don't understand, and that's so completely different from the languages I know that I can't translate. This job would be a hell of a lot more fun and fulfilling if I understood what it was I was doing, and how it would affect the end product. So, that's a goal of mine. Learn the secret language of wires and electrical circuits.

Going into so much new all at once has thrown me for a hell of a loop. New job, new home, new town, new everything. Also, this is the first time I haven't lived with my parents. I'm not truly out on my own, since I'm living with friends, but at the same time, I kind of am. I'm not living off of someone, now. I'm contributing as much as anyone else in the house (or I'm trying to. My housemates have trouble letting me pay for stuff). It feels pretty good, but I'm still settling. It doesn't quite feel like home, yet. On the other hand, my parents' place doesn't feel like home anymore, either. So, yeah. I'm still a little lost, and trying to figure things out, but it is all starting to come together. I'm finally getting my feet back underneath myself, and am starting to see clearly, again, where I am, and where I want to go from here. I still have a very long journey ahead of me, but I've made some significant progress in the last month. If I can just maintain it, and keep it from crashing around me until it stabilizes, I should be set.

I just had a thought. I wondered what my reaction to this post will be, years from now, if I ever look back on it. I imagine I'll laugh at myself for worrying about such silly things, and I'll probably be right in doing so. Right now, though, nothing is certain. I have some serious self-confidence issues, and cannot help but think about the possibility of catastrophic failure. I have come a long way in the past couple of years, though. Even my low self-esteem will admit that much. I don't know if I'm ready for this, but I am ready to try.

Here I go.


  1. Welcome back! Congratulations on the new job and the new living arrangements. Does that mean you are living in D&D paradise with the move?

  2. TL;DR - welcome back, bro

    (lawl, sarcasm - good to see you posting again!)

  3. Thanks, guys! It's good to be back. I missed this. Unfortunately, no, I am not living in a D&D paradise. Though, that may not be too far off. Both my roommates have expressed interest in getting back into it. We just need to sit down and do it.